Horrendous Orochimaru
by flamealchemist15
Summary: When Orochimaru took Sasuke in, he wasn't expected all the hate mail he got from Itachi. Oneshot.


Hello

Hello! I suddenly got this idea for this one-shot and couldn't resist writing. It's not the greatest thing I've ever written, but it was very fun for me to write. Please enjoy!

Like most everyone else, Orochimaru didn't know the truth about Itachi. Sure, like others he figured that Itachi had a real reason for keeping Sasuke alive, but it didn't really matter that much to him. At least, until Sasuke came to live with him in the Village of the Sound.

Only two days after Sasuke had arrived, Kabuto had come in with the mail and Orochimaru saw one addressed to him- from Itachi. He had figured, before reading it, that he would end up showing it to Sasuke in order to fuel his revenge.

He thanked his lucky stars after reading it that Sasuke wasn't the one who had gotten the mail that day.

Horrendous Orochimaru,

How dare you. I don't' know how you convinced my sweet, innocent Sasuke to go along and train with a vile being like you, but, whatever you did, it makes you even more of a monster then I thought you were before. You better release him back to Konoha now, or else you'll regret it. And believe me, when it comes to precious Sasuke, you _will_ regret it.

-Itachi

Orochimaru was baffled by the letter, which he _wasn't_ showing to Sasuke. After re-reading it a few times to make sure it really was from Itachi, he had Kabuto fetch him some paper and pens.

Itachi-kun,

I only put my curse seal on Sasuke-kun- he came here out of his own free will. And now that he is in my care, I am in charge of his fate, not you. Don't worry- Sasuke-kun only wishes to kill you, and I will make sure he gets that. And then, he'll be happy, won't he?

-Orochimaru

He tried to be as nice (since he was afraid of Itachi- not like he'd admit that) as possible while still putting up a strong front. Orochimaru wasn't prepared for all the chaos that would come out of this, of course.

Perverted Orochimaru,

NEVER, not under ANY circumstances, will you end Sasuke's name in "kun (or me, for that matter…ew). He is too innocent and pure to have someone as gross and evil as you ending his name in "kun". Affection from you is a curse that no one on Earth deserves, no matter how bad the person is. I even feel bad for that Kabuto boy, and that's saying something. So how could you give poor Sasuke any affection? I feel for him, I really do. Go burn in hell.

-Itachi

Another letter arrived a couple days later before Orochimaru had a chance to reply.

Vile Orochimaru,

Sasuke wouldn't have come if it weren't for your twisted actions, so it wasn't his free will. And, no, I still will control his fate, so, if you try _anything_, and I mean _anything_, you will be tortured (and not in the way you want, either, you sicko) and die a horribly painful death. And I don't see how anybody, especially poor Sasuke, could be happy spending even one second with you.

-Itachi

Itachi,

I will call him Sasuke-kun…the name suits him. Anyway, he's getting stronger, and isn't that what's important?

-Orochimaru

You are SO dead,

You will not call him Sasuke-kun, and if you do again, I will call him. I have heard he's gotten stronger, but that does not make for everything you've done, the things I know you've done but I'm not actually able to physically prove, and the things you will do in the future. You plan on taking over his body (which either Sasuke won't let happen or I'll make sure doesn't happen) and if you even try, I will kill you.

-Itachi

Itachi,

I am not afraid of you, and Sasuke knows and accepts the fact that I will eventually take over his body. And I'm not doing anything too serious.

-Orochimaru

You don't deserve a title,

If you're not afraid of me, why did you stop ending Sasuke's name in "kun" (although I'm sure you still call him that in person, which is so disgustingly sickening it could make someone puck for the rest of their life). I won't believe for one second that my dear younger brother Sasuke would really give his body to you- don't you think he's just saying that in order to get power from you? Anyway, it's unfortunately obvious that you are doing those things. When it comes to Sasuke (actually, anyone, since I wish this upon no one on this planet), even touching him is a cause for concern. After all, who wants to be near a gross and slimy creature like yourself?

-Itachi

Itachi,

I am not gross or slimy- stop insulting me already! And it's almost time for me to take over Sasuke-kun's body, which I _will_ succeed at!

-Orochimaru

The idiotic monster that will be roasted in hell,

I told you not to end his name in "kun", but I'll let dear Sasuke do the honors since he has much more reason to despise you then I do (although doesn't everyone in the world have a reason to hate you?) I've heard a lot about how strong Sasuke's gotten, and he's gonna kill you. Ha, you're plan's backfiring, huh? Dumbass.

-Itachi

Itachi,

Tonight's the night, and wait until you hear that I've taken over Sasuke-kun's body! Let's see who the idiot is now!

-Orochimaru

Loser!

I know you aren't alive to get this, but I couldn't help myself. HA! The answer to you're previous question is that everyone sees that you are the idiot! Sasuke killed you and saved himself from ever having to see your disgusting face. That day was a great day for the entire world, having been rid of the grossest object ever to walk it. Ha!

-Itachi

Not long after Sasuke killed Orochimaru, he finally stumbled upon the letters and soon found himself speechless for the next month.

I hope you all enjoyed that as much as I did writing it. Sorry it couldn't be any longer, but I was starting to run out of insults XD (but, to Itachi, that wouldn't be possible, of course XD). Please review!


End file.
